


well, I've been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love protection, what do you say, honey? come to my defense

by cromarty



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Romantic Face Punching, School Dances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21684334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cromarty/pseuds/cromarty
Summary: Patrick and David attend their Schitt’s Creek High semi-formal.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 59
Kudos: 220





	well, I've been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love protection, what do you say, honey? come to my defense

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wardo_wedidit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wardo_wedidit/gifts).

> This is by very specific request. Sorry, it’s a little late, Al, happy birthday.
> 
> Inspired by the fact that at Noah’s Toronto show he [told us](https://codswalloping.tumblr.com/post/189220895256/noah-reid-intro-to-road-again-21-november-2019) that he had his grade 11 semi-formal at The Great Hall, and it was one of the only ones he _didn’t_ get kicked out of.
> 
> Thanks to my whole beta team! The title is from Griffin House's "[The Guy That Says Goodbye To You Is Out Of His Mind](https://youtu.be/9oG1IfQx9Oc)."

David is pretty sure that by “semi-formal” they meant “cocktail attire,” but also it’s Schitt’s Creek High, so they could just mean “don’t come in jeans.” Although, some of _his_ jeans would definitely work in a cocktail attire ensemble. 

Alexis is going to come out of the bathroom any minute now, and she’ll start a whole thing about how he’s still standing there, staring at a bed absolutely covered in outfit options, paralyzed with indecision. He doesn’t even want to go to this stupid dance. It’s called “Snow Ball,” like they are in a poorly written teen movie that would go on the direct-to-video shelves at Rose Video. There are going to be drunk and high teenagers everywhere, and he’ll probably have to see Alexis surrounded by her crowd of admirers. He thinks Twyla is her favorite this week, but it’s hard to tell, it might be Ted. Stevie’s not going, and she’s his only friend in grade 12, so he’ll barely know anyone. She relentlessly made fun of him for going, waiting out his excuses of needing to keep an eye on Alexis and needing to set an example of a higher standard for these rural Ontario hicks and that Melanie Peterson had been giving him the eye all week and he might want to pursue that. When he finally, shamefully, admitted that Patrick had asked at their tutoring session this week if he’d see him there, she dropped the mocking attitude, and he’s still trying to forget the look of soft pride on her face. Stevie is very Team Patrick, and it makes David crazy.

Patrick makes David crazy, actually. It’s embarrassing enough that he needs a tutor for his Intro to Business class. The fact that it’s Patrick, who’s already aced it even though he’s a year below him, is even worse. The fact that it’s Patrick, kind, funny, sarcastic, sweet-faced, and utterly wrong for David, is the worst of all. David’s been pretty much keeping it together through the tutoring sessions and is actually passing the class, but the rest of his life is torture because he thinks about cute, athletic, responsible Patrick pretty much constantly, despite trying very hard not to. He’s tried not to with Sebastien, a 20-year-old townie who knew where to score ketamine, and he’s tried not to with Christina, the sort of intense girl who’s student body president at Elmdale High, and he might try not to tonight with Melanie, depending on how the night goes. None of it has worked, though, and when Patrick, very casually, mentioned the dance and asked if David was going, David couldn’t say any of the things he had said to Alexis about how stupid school dances were. He just looked at the pink tips of Patrick’s ears and said yes, and Patrick said, “Oh, cool! I’ll, uh, see you there, I guess,” and that was that.

Dad insists on taking their picture before he and Alexis leave, which is mortifying, and not only because his mother says “oh, David, did you run out of concealer? I’m sure Alexis can lend you some.” She makes up for it, though, by the equally mortifying moment of leaning in and telling him he looks “like your father the day I married him.” He tries to roll his eyes, but she is trying to be nice, so he lets it slide.

At the dance, Alexis immediately disappears, and David is left standing near a wall, looking at his phone, trying to pretend he knows or cares about anyone else in the building.

“Hey, David, you came!”  
David’s head snaps up and there is Patrick, in a blue suit he probably got for his confirmation, or something, holding out a plastic cup of soda to David. 

“Um, hi. You look… very nice,” David says, and tries not to cringe at himself. He takes a larger than advisable gulp of the soda to cover his grimace.

“Oh, thanks, and I like your, well, everything?” Patrick gestures to encompass David’s ensemble. He went with a conservative black jacket and tie and white shirt, but the pants are Dries van Noten, ankle-length, _and_ have a skirt wrap, because he has gender expansiveness standards to uphold. Someone has to be the person who teaches these people that gender is made up and all clothes are for anyone, and if it has to be David, so be it.

“Thank you,” David remembers to say, and then he and Patrick just stand there, looking out at the crowd dancing to a song David doesn’t recognize, something loud and fast. 

“So uh, how did your quiz go?” Patrick says, finally.

“Oh, it was… yeah, I think it was okay. I got nervous about a question about a legal document about stockholder voting rights?”

“A proxy?” Patrick asks, turning towards him fully. Obviously this they know how to do, talking about David’s terrible recall of business terms, even if David feels like they don’t know how to stand next to each other at a dance. Could David ask Patrick to dance? Would he say yes?

“Oh, good, that’s what I put, I think. Um… do you—” David starts, but suddenly there’s a hand on Patrick’s arm and he turns away.

“Hey, Patrick, do you want to dance?” Rachel, Patrick’s tiny and adorable best friend, is standing there smiling at them, and she looks like the star of that poorly written teen movie. In that movie, Patrick is her boy next door who ends up her boyfriend after this dance because they realize their feelings have been growing into something more than friendship when they see each other all dressed up. They’ll hold each other close on the dance floor and make promises about how they’ll last the summer, and through next year’s college application stress, and they’ll apply to the same schools, and David will still be standing here awkwardly, sticking out like a sore thumb in his designer skirt pants, alone.

“Uh…” Patrick looks at Rachel and then back at David. “I mean, sure, Rach, yes.” She smiles again, but Patrick turns back to David. “I’ll be back, okay?”

“Oh. Okay,” David says, and maybe he won’t be alone at the end of the movie? Patrick’s been giving him a bit of a vibe lately, but David had just assumed it was all wishful thinking on his part. Maybe not, though, if he’s coming back. Unless it’s just to keep talking about David’s quiz.

He thinks about texting Stevie for a second opinion, but before he can compose something that won’t lead to immediate mocking, the song is over and Patrick is in fact back. 

He gestures at David’s phone. “Stevie’s too cool for school dances?” Patrick tends to roll his eyes fondly when Stevie is with David in the hallways and mocks Patrick for being square. Patrick seems totally fine with being square, and also totally fine with Stevie being kind of a jerk, and with David being basically all the things David is. It’s nice, and it gives David a little bit of hope when he lets himself think about it.

“Run Away With Me” comes on and David shifts, hopefully not noticeably. He hadn’t planned to actually dance ever at this dance unless he was directly asked, but Carly is Carly. Patrick smirks at him.

“David, would you like to dance to Carly Rae Jepsen with me?” he says, and immediately turns out to the floor without waiting for David to agree. David tries to keep the smile off his face as he follows, but he’s not sure he’s managed it.

Carly is followed by Britney and then Beyoncé, so they stay out on the floor dancing until David’s forgotten that people other than Patrick can see him and might notice him looking ridiculous and having fun and watching the sweat starting to gleam at Patrick’s temples from his unskilled but enthusiastic dancing. “Crazy in Love” ends and David is actually laughing at Patrick’s antics, and he feels like he might not regret coming to this dance. Then a slow song comes on, and they have a strange moment of automatically drifting towards each other before they both realize and shift away. Patrick clears his throat and looks down at his shoes, and David’s hopes die a little.

“Uh, I’m going to, uh, go get us some drinks, okay? All that Beyoncé…” Patrick says, without looking at David.

“Okay, I’ll be over there again,” David says, and turns away, trying not to be disappointed and definitely failing. He watches the dancers swaying (and groping, you’re not being subtle, Mutt Schitt) until his attention is caught by Patrick on the other side of the room. 

He’s standing stock still and tense, and that lack of movement must have been what made David notice him. He’s the only person not moving in the whole room. He’s staring stonily at Eric Miller, who’s saying something loudly and gesturing drunkenly. Patrick says something back, heated but still unnaturally motionless. David starts towards them, scanning for a chaperone. Before he can get across the dance floor through the sea of bodies, he sees Eric laugh and lean forward with a nasty expression, and then before he can blink Patrick has pulled his arm straight back and punched Eric in the face so hard that Eric hits the floor in the next second. 

The chaperones David couldn’t even see a minute ago converge immediately. Eric is helped out of the gym towards the nurse’s office. His cronies, who had been hovering behind him, are shooed away. Patrick is hauled out of the main doors by the arm. In a room full of drunk and high teenagers breaking all kinds of school rules, Patrick, responsible, square Patrick, is being kicked out of a school dance and probably suspended for violence. 

“Oh my god, David, what happened?” Alexis says, appearing at his shoulder.

“I don’t know, I have to go find Patrick. I have to—Can you get yourself home?” he asks, distractedly. His whole body is focused on getting to Patrick, but he reins himself in for a second and focuses on Alexis. “You have to get a ride from someone who hasn’t been drinking and isn’t high, Alexis, promise me,” he says, making deliberate eye contact.

“Ugh, yes, David, Ted is _very_ responsible, I’ll be fine, you can go find your cute little tutor boyfriend!” She flounces away before he can object to that description, but he doesn’t really care. Mr. Bryant is standing in front of the main doors with his arms crossed, probably there to prevent one of Eric’s goons from following Patrick out for retaliation. David turns on his heel and sneaks out the side door, only sparing a moment’s thought for the shine on his loafers as he walks gingerly through the broken glass and weeds at the back of the gym around to the parking lot. 

Patrick is sitting on the low wall in front of the gym, cradling his hand in his lap with an icepack. Mrs. Schitt, who might be the only teacher David actually likes, mostly because she’s only in her 30s and she’s also kind of hot, if she did her hair differently and let David dress her, and if he forgets completely about her son, is standing on the steps of the gym making sure Patrick stays outside. She cements his good opinion of her by smiling at him and stepping inside as he approaches Patrick.

“Hi. Is your hand okay?” David says quietly, and Patrick jumps a little before turning towards him.

“Oh, hi. Sorry, I didn’t bring you a drink,” Patrick says and looks down at his shoes. His toes are scuffing the pavement and David wants to tell him to stop, but he just sits on the low wall too, and nudges Patrick’s shoulder with his own.

“It’s okay, I know I find it pretty difficult not to want to punch Eric Miller most of the time, so I’m impressed you managed to resist until this moment. Although probably doing it in front of all the teachers was asking for trouble.”

Patrick smiles, but he looks annoyed. He flexes his hand and winces.

“Patrick,” David says. Patrick looks up at him finally, so David decides he’s safe to ask. “What did he say to you? If he called you something, you should really tell Mrs. Schitt.”

Patrick looks away again. “He… it wasn’t… He didn’t call me anything, David. Well, nothing that isn’t true. He, uh.” He stops and presses his lips into a thin line, then turns back to meet David’s eyes. “He called _you_ something. It wasn’t about me, it was about, um, us.”

“Us?” David asks. Eric Miller calling David something is unsurprising. Expected, even. He doesn’t really care about that part. 

“Yeah,” Patrick says, but he doesn’t elaborate. He’s looking at David, and David suddenly realizes how close they’re sitting. Patrick’s shoulder is still pressed into his. Patrick’s beautiful face is right there, and he looks angry, and brave, and he’s looking at David like he’s worth defending, and he has also glanced at David’s lips four times in the last 30 seconds. David desperately wants to lean in, but he’s too scared to try without one last check.

“Is there an us?” he whispers, watching Patrick’s face carefully. Patrick’s mouth softens and he looks terrified for a second, and then even braver.

“Yeah,” he breathes, and that’s all David needs. He reaches for Patrick’s face and Patrick meets him halfway, in the sweetest, most chaste kiss David’s had all year. It’s without a doubt the best kiss David’s had all year too, though. He pulls back a bit to check on Patrick. 

Patrick looks a bit punch drunk himself, smiling slightly like he can’t quite believe that just happened. 

“Thank you, David,” he says quietly, looking down at his hand again.

“For what?” David asks, because no one has ever thanked him for kissing them in his whole life.

“Um, I've never done that before, with a guy. And uh, I was getting a little scared that I was going to have to leave here without us having done that. So thank you, for making that happen for us. I’m sorry I don’t get to slow dance with you, though. I really wanted to do that too.”

David might just die right here, just spontaneously combust from the sweetness of that confession. He stands up and extends his right hand for Patrick to take with his good hand. Patrick grins at him and stands too, pulling David close. David pulls out his phone and starts “[From This Moment On](https://youtu.be/a-Lp2uC_1lg)” and they stand there, swaying in each other’s arms in the school parking lot, and maybe it’s David who’s the star of the teen movie after all. He starts to think about how their relationship so far would fit into that movie but then Patrick leans up and kisses him again and he stops thinking. 

They kiss until the song ends and then they kiss through the next one, just shuffling slightly around to keep up the semblance of the dance. Eventually they come up for air with Patrick facing the gym and David facing the parking lot, and as Patrick kisses David’s neck above his collar David realizes there is a car sitting 20 feet away from them now, running, and there’s a man leaning against it with his arms folded, watching them with a slight smile on his face.

“Um, I think…” David starts, and pulls his arms away from Patrick’s neck.

“David?” Patrick asks, concerned.

“No, it’s not you, don’t worry, I really… liked that, but just, is that maybe your dad?” David asks.

Patrick jerks out of his arms, face bright red, and turns around. “Yes, yeah, that for sure is my dad. Awesome. Mrs. Schitt made me call him to pick me up.” Patrick’s dad waves genially at them when he sees Patrick looking. Patrick groans and turns back to David.

“I haven’t even told them I’m gay, but I guess that’s what we’re going to be talking about on the way home. Gay and suspended, surprise!” He huffs a laugh. “Sorry. I have to go, obviously. Um, and I’m suspended, obviously, but just for Monday and two baseball games. Can we, uh, talk tomorrow?” He looks up at David.

“Yes, we can talk whenever you like. Actually, um, if you want, you can text me tonight and let me know how that… whole thing goes,” David says, gesturing to take in Patrick and his dad and the car.

“I will. Good night, David.” Patrick, who hasn’t come out to his parents and hadn’t kissed a boy before tonight, leans up and kisses David’s cheek in front of his dad and the school and god and everybody. 

“Good night, Patrick,” David whispers, and he can’t keep the smile off his face as he watches Patrick walk to the car. Before Patrick even gets there, Mr. Brewer calls out, “Good night, David, I hope your quiz went well!” David hears Patrick go “_Dad!_” and has to laugh. He waves as they drive away and then sits back down on the low wall to let the music play and look up at the stars. He’ll call Stevie for a ride home eventually, but for now, he just wants to sit here and savor the feeling of his movie moment, with the nice cute boy next door who punched an asshole for him at a school dance.

His savoring is interrupted by his phone vibrating with a text.

Patrick: _My dad wants me to tell you that you should feel safe to come to him if anyone bullies you and also that you are welcome for dinner on Sunday night because they would like to finally meet you, and I would like to tell you that you should come to dinner but be prepared to forget everything they tell you about me because I’m pretty sure it will all be embarrassing._

David: **Thank you Mr. Brewer, and I will be there with bells on as my mother would say, and make no promises.**

_“Finally,”_ David thinks. _They want to “finally” meet me!_ and he looks up at the stars and laughs because he doesn’t know how to contain this feeling, which might be happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> David is wearing his outfit from "Surprise Party."


End file.
